


The 'D' in 'Undignified' Stands For 'Disco'

by Thinker109



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Glitter, Relationship can be seen as platonic except for one paragraph, also this is vaguely based on the glowing platypus thing, perry is a disco ball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:40:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28274739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thinker109/pseuds/Thinker109
Summary: Disco platypus :)
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20
Collections: Perryshmirtz Secret Santa 2020





	The 'D' in 'Undignified' Stands For 'Disco'

**Author's Note:**

  * For [revenblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/revenblue/gifts).



“Perry the Platypus, why are you a-- are you supposed to be a disco ball?” he sputtered. “It isn’t Halloween, why are you…” Heinz waved his hands in the general direction of the platypus-on-a-string in front of him. 

Perry was hanging down with a rope tied around his waist and some glitter stuck in his fur. The most noticeable part, though, was the tiny square mirrors glued onto his fur, all over him. There were a few on his bill, throwing beams of light in every direction.

A thunderous expression crossed Perry’s face before he wiped it off and glared pointedly at Major Monogram, chatting in the corner with some other official-looking person. 

“ _Francis_ did this? Why? Was he not able to afford a disco ball?” Heinz looked around. OWCA had rented a fairly large hall for some sort of agent-evil scientist party. They could definitely afford a disco ball. “That’s stupid, I’m getting you outta here. They didn’t even have good chips, and now _this?_ ” 

Whilst Heinz struggled to untie the knot, standing on his tiptoes, Perry tried not to focus on the sudden closeness of their faces. It wasn’t often that he was at the same level as Heinz, much less _taller_. 

Perry’s weight suddenly dropped, the knot untied. Heinz carried him, careful to avoid the sharp-looking edges of the mirrors embedded in his teal fur. Perry was glowing slightly in the darkened room and shone a little brighter when they entered the darkness of night.

A cool breeze blew past them as Heinz marched to his building, and whistled around as the door blew shut. 

As they rode in the elevator, Heinz kept clucking worriedly over Perry. “They just _glued_ it on? It’s _fur_ , it’ll be impossible to get it out! And what’s with all this glitter? Really, if they wanted a glow-in-the-dark disco ball, they don’t cost that much! I would know. Remember that time I trapped you in one? It cost like _nothing_!” 

Perry just gritted his teeth through the mirrors poking awkwardly at his shoulders and refused to reply with anything more than a grunt. The glitter was awfully itchy and absolutely everywhere, and now his _eyes_ were scratchy and he just wanted to go home and sleep. 

Unlocking the door with one hand, he deposited Perry onto the couch. “Hold on just a sec- I’ll be right back.”

Sighing, Perry tried to wrap his tail around himself, ending the motion when it just poked him in the hips. He was never taking overtime again, not even if the pay was better than usual. He’d _known_ it was a bad idea, but... 

He raised his head at a creak and saw Heinz holding a rather unwieldy looking -inator. It was long, and pointed at the end, looking almost like a spear, if a spear was made out of purple metal and had stray wires sticking out of the end. 

“Here we go! I found my unstick-inator. Y’know those packages that have all the _stickers_ on them and then when you peel it off it leaves a mark or doesn’t come off at all and it _tears_ and it’s all so annoying and then you have this big sticky square on your _soap_ bottles and then you have to cover it with something so you try to put the sticker back _on_ but then it doesn’t stick properly--” He cut himself off and sat besides Perry. 

“This shouldn’t hurt a bit. It’s just gonna separate the glue from your fur so that the mirrors and glitter and stuff will all just pop right off. You ready?” 

Perry nodded and stretched out on his belly. Feeling a slight sucking of air and a wash of heat, the first mirror popped off with a shower of glitter. Did Major Monogram treat all the agents like this? Probably. It really ruined the whole “suave agent” persona he tried to uphold, mostly around Heinz. His thinking was interrupted by speech.

“You okay? That didn’t hurt or anything, right? I’ve only ever used this on bottles and plastic and stuff, but it’s not hot enough to burn anything, I don’t think.” Hesitating, he continued to pop off more glass squares.

By the time they were done with the mirrors, it was already nearing midnight. Perry yawned and shook off some more glitter, watching it drift through the air and onto the couch. He wanted nothing more than to feel a… warm hand in his fur? That was good too. 

Heinz brushed out some more flakes of sparkly dust and watched as Perry relaxed. “We should host our own get-together someday. It would be _way_ better than _Francis’s_ horrible excuse of a party. We could get _lime chips_ and an _actual_ disco ball and it would be really nice. Do you know anyone you could invite?” 

Perry shook his head sleepily.

“Yeah, me neither. Maybe we could just have it be us two, huh? That would be fun.”

Perry smiled slightly as the petting slowed down. 

They would clean up the glittery mess in the morning. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's kinda short I lost every idea I've ever had as soon as I started writing lol


End file.
